Knitted Thong – Right or Wrong?

November 4, 2009 at 2:05 am | Posted in Knitting morals | Leave a comment
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I untangle the sensitive issue of handmade undercrackers (question via @mizelissa on Twitter).

Dear Gerty

My downstairs neighbor is a male stripper who is addicted to the knit. For Christmas would it be appropriate to knit him Knitty’s Men’s Thong-th-thong or just gift him with a copy of the pattern and some yarn? (I am not a stripping knitter just a girl upstairs neighbor knitter).

Thinking of Thongs

Dear ToT, my oh my that’s quite an eye-popping knit you are considering.

I say why not teach the young man how to get his knit on? I know he spends much of his time getting his knits off, but you shouldn’t be shocked by requests for a bit of knitted naughtiness. After all strippers need to keep their bits snuggly just like the rest of us.

You could even help enhance his stripping career and spice up his stage show with Knitty’s edible 302 Calories thong. Grab yourself some strawberry laces and your needles and go and knock on his door this instant. Just make sure you get a cut of his stage fees when he becomes a stripping star.

To you, Ms ToT, you are simply knitting him a bit of modesty but to him you are handmaking his entire wardrobe when it gets to the end of the act.

Unless he goes Full Monty, in which case Gerty would appreciate a few photos. Purely for the Ask Gerty archives you understand.


Knitting time travel?

October 11, 2009 at 11:14 pm | Posted in From the Ravelry stash, You and your knitting | 1 Comment
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The Doctor appreciates a fine scarf

The Doctor appreciates a fine scarf

A question from one of our S&B London Ravellers gets Gerty thinking about sonic screwdrivers…

Hello Aunty Gerty.
Would you like some cake ? I have a question for you. How can I make more time for knitting?

Hello AlpacaAddict and thank you for your question. A tricky one.

You have several options to make sure you have ample time to get your knit on:

a. The practical option – Give up housework and live like a slattern. Cockroaches may scuttle across your scummy surfaces, mice may make nests in your stash, and spiders may make cobwebs on your unused crochet hooks but what will you care when you have a fine knitted garment to take out on the town?

b. Lure passersby off the street using a friendly alpaca and cake spiked with obedience potion, then use them to do all the housework. Lots of knitting time and someone to make you cups of tea while you do so.

c. Find yourself a Time Lord and marry him. The tardis will take you wherever you want to go and they’re always rather dashing chaps to boot.

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