Cat cleavage denial

October 11, 2009 at 11:35 pm | Posted in From the Ravelry stash | Leave a comment
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Something very wrong

Something very wrong

Another perplexed Raveler picks Gerty’s woolly brains.
Dear Aunty Gerty
Welcome to Stitch and Bitch London.
I am worried that people thing I am my Ravatar and actually do have Miss kitty Woo living in my chest – how can I convince them otherwise?

Ah Miss Woo, you could let the cat out of the cag(ool), and stop taking Miss kitty  Woo out zipped up in your jumper.

Or embrace the look and get a paper mask to look like your avatar. You never know, you could start a trend. Soon tottering supermodels and stumbling drug-addled big-haired stars would be tottering down the catwalk and falling out of limos with a moggie welded to their chests in vain attempt to get the ‘cat escaping from cleavage look’.

Incogknito yarn

Incogknito yarn

P.S. Are you related to Robin the giant ball of DK perchance?

We don’t talk about that side of the family.


Knitting time travel?

October 11, 2009 at 11:14 pm | Posted in From the Ravelry stash, You and your knitting | 1 Comment
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The Doctor appreciates a fine scarf

The Doctor appreciates a fine scarf

A question from one of our S&B London Ravellers gets Gerty thinking about sonic screwdrivers…

Hello Aunty Gerty.
Would you like some cake ? I have a question for you. How can I make more time for knitting?

Hello AlpacaAddict and thank you for your question. A tricky one.

You have several options to make sure you have ample time to get your knit on:

a. The practical option – Give up housework and live like a slattern. Cockroaches may scuttle across your scummy surfaces, mice may make nests in your stash, and spiders may make cobwebs on your unused crochet hooks but what will you care when you have a fine knitted garment to take out on the town?

b. Lure passersby off the street using a friendly alpaca and cake spiked with obedience potion, then use them to do all the housework. Lots of knitting time and someone to make you cups of tea while you do so.

c. Find yourself a Time Lord and marry him. The tardis will take you wherever you want to go and they’re always rather dashing chaps to boot.

Sunday stitching: right or wrong?

September 26, 2009 at 3:29 pm | Posted in Knitting morals | 1 Comment
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A lovely S&B Londoner has been kind enough to track down The Girl’s Own Paper and Woman’s Magazine from March 1927. Where Flora Kilckmann answers the needling question below. We passed the question along to our Gerty to see what she had to say on the matter.

My husband and I have had an argument about knitting on a Sunday.  Will you decide for us?  Is it right or wrong?
Confused, Clapham

Dear Confused

Oh dear! Sounds like you need to hang up your circular needles on a Sunday to maintain domestic bliss in the ‘Confused of Clapham’ household! Nothing’s better than an easy life, right?!

Alternatively, you could just tell him to stuff it. Maybe you should ask him whether sitting around watching (insert sport here) all day is allowed on a Sunday. See what justification he has for his leisure pursuits on the day of rest! We’re all entitled to a bit of down time!!

Love and snuggly stuff,

Auntie Gerty

The original from The Girls own paper and Woman’s Magazine.

Edited by Flora Kilckmann March 1927

We have had an Argument about Knitting on Sunday.  Will you Decide for us?  Is it Right or Wrong?

No one can decide foe another on this point.  It is a matter for the individual conscience to settle, and must entirely depend on circumstances.

There is no decree in the Bible against knitting on Sunday.  The Commandment to do no work on that day does not necessarily affect knitting, because knitting is not always work – it may be recreation (though I do not mean to imply that all recreations are desirable for the Sabbath; some most certainly are not !).

You need to go much further back than the question of actual knitting to solve this problem.  The day has gone past when good women considered it allowable to pin a piece of frilling in the neck of their best frock on Sunday, but sinful to tack it in with a needle !  We need to look to the spirit rather than the letter of God’s ordinance which requires us to give special observance to His day.

Sunday was instituted that we might have a period each week free from the constant demands of work, and thus have the opportunity to think about the Creator.  Also, it was given us as a day of rest and recuperation.

Now, one point for you to decide is this: Granted that knitting is not your daily work but merely a recreation, does it hinder your thoughts from turning towards heavenly things?  If so, it is undesirable.

Or does it help you to quiet mental concentration?  I know several spiritually-minded women who find that knitting is an aid to deep thinking.  It can be a purely mechanical process that promotes thinking, just as walking enables many people to work out an article or sermon, or a problem more easily than if they were sitting still.

In this way knitting differs from most other recreations; you cant play golf or tennis for instance, and be thinking about the deeper concerns of the soul.  Whereas with knitting you can.

We all need some special time when we can drop, for the moment, the things that appertain exclusively to this world, and send our thoughts in the direction of the world to come.  Nowadays it is difficult to find time to be quiet, and also very difficult to sit still and do nothings with one’s hands in one’s lap.  The nervous tension of the age makes it almost impossible for some women to sit still for ten consecutive minutes without movement of some kind.

When knitting helps to compose and calm a nervous temperament (as it often does), and promote quiet thought, then it is desirable.

Nevertheless, one must remember that actions which are not sinful in themselves may yet have a hurtful effect on others.  Should your knitting prove a stumbling blovk to someone else, or even a cause of irritation to those who hold other views, then it should be regarded as one of those things which are inexpedient.

This brings me back to my starting point: Each person must think out and decide this question herself on its individual merits.  Our Heavenly Father evidently wishes us to give as much time as we can, on Sundays, to worship and prayer, and quiet thought about spiritual things.  It is for us to try to carry out His wishes in whatever way we find most helpful to this end—provided it does not hinder another soul who is striving to live aright.

Images from

Introducing Ms Gertrude Woolsworthy

September 25, 2009 at 7:58 pm | Posted in Gertrude goings on | Leave a comment
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She’s more than a big ball of yarn!

Gertude and Lauren

Gertude and Lauren

You may have seen her hanging about in the shadows of Stitch and Bitch London meetings, calmly meting out advice on the dos and don’ts of knitting etiquette, patiently talking you through that pesky slip slip knit, or stealing bits of your battenburg when you’re not looking.  Well, now you can be officially introduced.

Knitting world meet S&B London’s newest Stitchette: Gertrude Woolsworthy. She’s more than a big ball of yarn!

We first met her back in May 2009, when she came to us as part of a huge donation of yarn. We were awe-struck by her…her…well, just her! She was huge! She was pink! She was a ball of yarn!

Gertrude and Emmy

Gertrude and Emmy

Since then, we’ve discovered she’s more than that. She’s a problem solver extraordinaire. She’s honest and to the point. She tells it like it is and doesn’t pull her punches. She can fix the most hideous tangle, slap you silly if you’re feeling stitching unsureness, and drink most of us under the table without a thread out of place. We couldn’t miss this opportunity to make her the newest Stitchette.

Gertrude and Marion

Gertrude and Marion

Every fortnight, in the Stitch and Bitch London newsletter, Gertrude will be answering your yarn-related questions as only she knows how in Ask Gertrude.

If you have any problems you need a solution to, drop her a line and Gertrude will do her best to answer them.

Ask Gertude. Go on.

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