Gertrude Woolsworthy

Knitted Thong – Right or Wrong?

I untangle the sensitive issue of handmade undercrackers (question via @mizelissa on Twitter).

Dear Gerty

My downstairs neighbor is a male stripper who is addicted to the knit. For Christmas would it be appropriate to knit him Knitty’s Men’s Thong-th-thong or just gift him with a copy of the pattern and some yarn? (I am not a stripping knitter just a girl upstairs neighbor knitter).
Thanks
Thinking of Thongs

Dear ToT, my oh my that’s quite an eye-popping knit you are considering.

I say why not teach the young man how to get his knit on? I know he spends much of his time getting his knits off, but you shouldn’t be shocked by requests for a bit of knitted naughtiness. After all strippers need to keep their bits snuggly just like the rest of us.

You could even help enhance his stripping career and spice up his stage show with Knitty’s edible 302 Calories thong. Grab yourself some strawberry laces and your needles and go and knock on his door this instant. Just make sure you get a cut of his stage fees when he becomes a stripping star.

To you, Ms ToT, you are simply knitting him a bit of modesty but to him you are handmaking his entire wardrobe when it gets to the end of the act.

Unless he goes Full Monty, in which case Gerty would appreciate a few photos. Purely for the Ask Gerty archives you understand.